Precious, precious time. And oh so precious space. I have realize these past few days that I have too little of both.
First, space.
I miss you space! Actually, I just miss you kitchen space. I have a new found appreciation for my friends with small kitchens, and kitchen counter space, and kitchen cabinets. In particular, I am in awe on their organizational, and corresponding culinary skills. To reiterate the über-cliché: you don't know what you've got until it's gone. Indeed. After moving from our expansive kitchen, complete with a walk-in pantry, long golden lines of maple cabinets, and its own granite island marooned in the middle, I realize just how much I appreciated it...
... to a point. Our new kitchen is cozy. And I use the word cozy in real estate terms - small, but it has its positive charms. First, there is a dishwasher. I have lived without one and will never ever again overlook the capacity of this kitchen powerhouse. Hooray for dishwashers! Second, the sink overlooks the dining room and a bar stool area. It's nice to not be hidden away in a kitchen, apart from the hubbub of the family. Third, everything is close and compact enough that I am compelled to keep it tidy - to be creative in my use of space. I've most recently gone vertical with my storage, stacking some wine crates we already had for extra shelving and counter space. There is something so satisfying about using something you already have for a new use. Admittedly, I have commandeered a few shelves in the garage for some rarely used appliances and my stock of canned and boxed goods. We are lucky to have a nearby space in which to extend our storage options. Our kitchen is just large enough where I won't go mad trying to unbury frequently used items, but small enough to make me organized.
There are some advantages to having a smaller space. I think back to my brief stint with Katie in the dorms at University of Oregon. We shared a crazy small space, like maybe 12' X 15'. However, I'd never been so clean or organized in my life! And this extended into my early days renting apartments/studios as well. I felt a safety in those small spaces. I felt capable of containing it, and only owning what was necessary. As I look around my current living room strewn with toys, books, blankets, and miscellany, it's clear I've long lost that simplicity.
Our new house plan worries me. I am the queen of second (and third!) guessing myself when it comes to big decisions. I never used to be like this. Where did my spontaneity go? (A later post, I'm sure.) The kitchen is BIG. But only by necessity, as we expanded the tiny master bath and bedroom on the floor above. The kitchen just moved out with the footprint of the house. We are at a point of no return in terms of the house plan. Well, we could change it, but it would drastically modify the entire house, as well as its engineering, and we'd most likely be unable to build this year, and building costs are extremely low momentarily, as well as bank rates, and so on and so on... So, we are sticking with the spacious kitchen plan. Most would argue a large kitchen could never be a bad thing. But with more space, comes a feeling of obligation to fill it. That's a lot of pressure. I want our new kitchen to be a well-utilized space, not a junk haven. It's so easy to realize what you need, rather than what you want... Perhaps I'll renege on these feelings once our house has two adults and two kids in it - that's a family! It's not just me and Ryan and Juni anymore...
Actually, I do have enough space. It's all relative to how you use it. Enough space makes it easier to maneuver. Too much space becomes cumbersome and overwhelming. I hope our new house straddles this line.
And then there's TIME.
Ah, the time/space continuum. Again, it's all relative to how you use it. Today, I was sitting on the couch with Anika. She had just come in from a walk with Dad and was pretty beat up after taking a header onto the sidewalk; forehead, nose, and cheeks all scraped up from the asphalt. I got her some water, her teddy bear, and blanket (we have many), and we cuddled up and watched some Cinderella together. Nothing makes my kid feel better like a little Cinderella. I held her head in the crook of my arm while she nuzzled in and watched, and I read a few home magazines to get some new decorating ideas. We don't get down times like this much in our house. And for that reason, I just cherished the moment - warm, quiet, comfort. Because quiet is so rare, I held it all the more close. I need to most consider the power of the moment, rather than the moment to come or the moment that has passed.
Some moments from our last few days:
Always buckle up before walking...
Elephants like peanut butter and jelly too, you know!
Okay, I guess I'll eat some too...
She reminds me of a tiny and tired mother here...
At the indoor play park, mastering the art of climbing the slide...
...almost got it!...
Oops! Well, if first you don't succeed...
... try try again!
The only good shot I got of the moving target! She loved this little playhouse...
Getting a kiss from her friend Amelia ...
Reading "Puppy Too Small" with Aunt Trina and Trese
A little worse for the wear after the big fall...
And the cherry on the sundae - While Nana Forsgren was babysitting, Anika fell asleep on the couch yesterday for the first time! She just put her head down, closed her eyes, and went to sleep. It probably helped that Charlie Rose was on in the background, lulling her. It's tiring being a little person!
How funny! Anika just woke up. I suppose that ends this blog.
P.S. I wrote this in three installations - you take time where you can get it!
