Let's Spring Break It Down

I'm going to just go out on a limb here, and say... spring break is for the birds.

Actually, it's for school staff and students to recuperate, regrouperate, resaturate and reconcile the fact that they have to come back and teach our kids again until June. And as someone who briefly forayed into teaching, I don't envy them and fully understand the necessity of the phenomenon that is Spring Break. But I'm just sayin', Spring Break is not for parents. Especially parents that live in a place where it's rainy in March. Here's where I wanted to be this Spring Break:

It's a hammock. Hanging from a palm tree. Dipping seductively close to a glorious expanse of aquamarine. With just enough room for me and my book. But alas...

Typically Spring Break is the harbinger of at least a little sunshine and warm enough weather to at least pretend it's warm enough weather. Not this time. Oh March, you fickle, fickle tease. If it weren't for my birthday, I'd loathe you. 

I'm not (I am) lamenting the fact that I had full responsibility again for my kids for two whole weeks, or three if your count the pre-break sick week. In truth, nothing reminds me more of how difficult a job teachers have then having to take care of my own kids. At least, taking care of them well. Healthy snacks,  time outside to move and shake their sillies out, meaningful activities. Lucky for me, Anika got her tonsils removed so I was exonerated from many of these parental duties. Admittedly, we watched a lot of TV this break. We ate a lot of ice cream. Our two weeks had the possibility of being a mellow, relaxing time of recovery and afternoon visits to The Bouncy House and indoor play park. But unfortunately it was peppered with one ER visit for a little dehydrated girl, ear infections, and vomit, among other superfluous bodily fluids...

This can't possibly be normal. I just refuse to accept it. Here's our list from the last three months:

nonstop colds and/or stomach flues
two bouts of pneumonia
three chest X-rays
three bouts of pinkeye
four sinus infections
five urgent care visits
three ER visits
five stitches
four ear infections - just Kaden :(
too many rounds of antibiotics and steroids than I care to think about...
and one surgery

Initially, I was excited about Spring Break, in the hopes it would kickstart our immune systems. Unluckily for us, Anika just happened to catch a stomach flu right after having tonsil surgery. And then Kaden got it a few days later, while still fighting the ever-lingering cold.

Essentially we have been house bound, a noose that got tighter as the month continued. I retreated into my shell these past few weeks, taking shelter, while my introvert stood guard. The weather was so awful, heavy with grey most days. I hate that feeling. Sinking, sinking, sinking... until it seems easier to keep digging, rather than drag myself out. Our routines didn't entirely collapse, but did lapse for sure. There were holes - as in the too-much-tv, cheese-pizza-for-dinner, little-outside-play kind of holes. Laundry piled up. Grocery store trips were postponed. Half-and-half may have been used to top off a cereal bowl. Extreme times called for extreme measures.

I'll admit, there is a little joy in taking care of my kids when they are ill. When Kaden cries "Mama! Mama!" in the middle of the night, and I can soothe him just by holding him in my arms, it's a good feeling. I like being a mama... when I'm not sick. Parents being sick is often times trivialized, but that's a load of crap. Being sick when your kids are sick sucks. No one brings you ginger ale and a popsicle in a bowl. No one tucks blankets around while you watch movies on the couch. In fact, your duties increase. It's extra hard to mother sick ones while you are sick yourself. Remember when you'd hold back your best friend's hair while she was throwing up after a night of drinking, even though you were a little hung over too? Remember how it was difficult to not vomit in empathy? No? Just me?

I realize this post is a big fat whine fest. True story. And now I can rip March out of my calendar, set it on fire, and dance on its ashes.

We are plodding forward and brightening our path is Anika's and my upcoming trip to New England. That's my sun right now. It will be Anika's first plane ride anywhere and I think she is ready. And more importantly, I am ready. I can't wait to take her and introduce her to friends who I miss so much, as well as to the act of traveling itself. She is an adventurer and loves new situations and new people. I hope she enjoys our trip as much as I think she will! I've begun to make lists, to plan, to brainstorm... Truly, I am SO excited!

That's all for now. I'm too tired (lazy) to throw up any photos today. I'll leave you with Kaden's new favorite song. Really, I think I've listened to (and sung) this song well over 50 times in the last two days. Kaden requests it in the morning, in the car, walking around running errands. He sings "doo du doo doo" along with the refrain. When he wants to hear it, he'll go the stereo and say "moooooooore raaaaain". In terms of the weather, I say no thanks. It terms of music, I'm more than happy to oblige.

"Singin' in the Rain" - Gene Kelly

Over The Weather

Over the weather. That's where I am this morning. Rainy, snowy, cloudy - it doesn't matter, because I'm over it. It's just one of those mornings. All life's bits and pieces have somehow landed softly back on planet earth. Hands were held, kumbaya was sung, order was restored.

Anika and I went to my Weight Watchers meeting last night. She was so excited to go. She kept announcing to anyone who would listen (typical audience Kaden and Grizly, our golden retriever) that she was officially going to a meeting. When I said it was time to go, she ran into the mudroom with a frantic gust, quickly put on her shoes and coat, and declared in loud huffs: "I must hurry! I can't be late to the meeting!" When we arrived, but before we went inside, I told her that she had to stay quiet, not run away, and that this was a special meeting just for "big girls" - and then had to chuckle, of course. And besides farting loudly twice at the meeting, she did a great job. As the kind woman two chairs down from us said: "It just happens."

When we arrived home, the night had fully blossomed and the stars and planets were blinking brightly against the black sky. Ryan took Anika outside, knelt down and pointed out the moon and the planets to Anika. I stood watching them, breathing in the cold air, following Anika's wide-eyed gaze. In the time of those few quiet breaths, under that infinite dark dome, I was briefly overwhelmed. Everything seemed so simple, basic, elementary...

... and then, just like that, it was over, as Anika decided yelling at the hills and running in the dark were much better options then silently standing in it. But still, I recognized my Kairos moment. I recognized it, and held it close.

***

We are all healthy, finally, after over two months of consistent undertheweatherness. It started right before Christmas, when the kids got pneumonia. And continued into January with a sniffle here, a sinus infection there. This is what sustained me:



It's Jess's Famous Ginger Tea! One taste and I was hooked. Chop up some ginger, skin and all and bring to a simmer. Mine went for 10 minutes or so. If you forget about it (as my Super Bowl Sunday batch was), it simmers into a deliciously condensed tincture. Actually, if I had simmered it even longer, I could have added some honey and had a strong yummy cough syrup...






Add a squeeze of lemon juice, some honey for your cough, and you are good to go. I tested out adding some green tea as well, but I like the original mix of ginger, lemon, and honey. Thank you Jess introducing me to this drink!

I'm fine with a runny nose. I'm fine with a sore throat, and a cough, and some body aches. But I am not okay with midnight trips to the ER with my baby boy. No parent wants to be the idiot that brings the child with a cold into the ER. But how else do you respond when your child is having a hard time breathing in the middle of the night? Um... you go the ER. Here's how it went: nebulizer, steroids, nebulizer, me refusing another chest X-ray, hospital admittance, oxygen level check every hour - all culminating in (obviously) a night of literally no sleep. Everyone at the hospital did a great job, but there was no avoiding it being the Worst. Night. Ever. And one week later, my poor little man was still having trouble breathing with an oxygen level of 96. Another round of steroids, another round of antibiotics, and finally finally he is better. Needless to say, I'm paranoid about him getting a cold. And will unabashedly avoid it.

Back to his happy self again

Here are some of the small moments that have fueled me lately:

Shadow hopscotch

Driveway tricycle rides

New wall art

Game Night!

This one's called Chicky Boom - Anika loves it!

Wine with friends (of the kismet, meant-to-be kind)

Rainy morning trips to the sheep barns

Lunch dates

Coffee

Banana bread with the crew

Getting our beef order - so excited!

New tricks

Mud puddles

The beauty within the storm

We've got a busy weekend ahead. Dinner parties, visiting friends, a birthday party, and a baby shower. WHEW! I can't wait. :)

*****

Bathtub View

Sanctuary. Surrender. Sanity.

I Ironed Outside Today

It's true. I ironed outside today. On the front porch. In the cold. As in 40 degrees cold. Okay, so it wasn't officially freezing. But cold enough that the kids and I needed heavy coats and hats and gloves. Only one of us actually kept all three of these on.

Today was cabin fever day. Sunday. The no school day, no Ryan day, just me and the Diabolical Duo day. Before the day even began, I knew we would need to get out of the house to keep the semblance of sanity I've glued back together since Ryan was on vacation this week. Unfortunately, the weather has been rotten. Fast forward to 10:30 am: the kids are screaming, I'm looking longingly at the Pinot Noir... yup, we must out.

First, let me tell you, I absolutely dread taking both the kids on errands. I always try and organize my errands between the hours of 9 am - 12 noon, Monday through Friday, when I only have one little guy to watch out for, rather than two. (This seems a great time to interject that I cannot fathom having more than two kids - cheers to those parents who are outnumbered. I'll pour some out for you all tonight... or this afternoon). But I'd rather be crazy and productive, than crazy and bored, so I piled everyone into the car, and off we went to the Fred. G. Meyer. The excursion went like this:

Kaden refused to sit anywhere in the car cart
Anika and Kaden ran across the store as I attempted to pick out a toilet bowl cleaner in 1.5 seconds
I ran after them with three options of toilet bowl cleaners in hand for later perusal
I lassoed Kaden, tucked him under my arm, and forced him against his will to sit in the cart, all while he screamed hell-fire through the whole store
I meagerly attempted to soothe him for show, avoided eye contact with other shoppers, mentally pared down my list to the bare minimum, hustled through the aisles, and ended up buying all three toilet bowl cleaners anyway.

The culprit...

Just another day at the office folks...

The afternoon was eventful. I unloaded the dishwasher, reloaded the dishwasher, made lunch, cleaned up lunch, started one load of laundry, wiped off the counters twice, relocated 53 toys, refereed 78 arguments over who had what toy first, yelled "Don't jump on the bed!" at least seven times, threatened to count to three 37 times, and actually counted to three once. Big day. Huge. My goal was to finish clipping and ironing the mountain of fabric my mom gave me this week. By 3:00 pm, I realized no one was going to just gift-wrap me my dream of ironing fabric. So, I layered up the littles, underarmed my ironing board and iron and threw open the door. The kids ran around, rode around, threw up their arms and screamed and did what little kids should do. I kept one eye on them, while my iron huffed huge clouds of steam into the cold.

And here's a hint to what my next post will complain about contain:

... in the meantime, I'll be holding on to my little wins.

The Cold vs. The Johanson Family, Round Eleventy Billion. Also, Five Songs I'm Loving

Excuse me while I whip this out... this post that is. Both my kids are napping soundly. At 10:30 in the morning. It's official - they're sick. AGAIN. But didn't Kaden just finish his ear infection antibiotics yesterday, you ask? Why yes, yes he did. Excellent punctuality, cold virus!

Anika woke up this morning and came into my room. When I asked her how she was feeling, she answered "just a little good," through wheezy breaths. I then silently shook my invisible fist at the heavens for a millisecond before welcoming her into bed to snuggle in my arms. Because I have asthma, I empathize in technicolor when I hear my kids wheezing. Consciously struggling to breathe, when it normally is so easy and involuntary... that has to be one of the worst feelings in the world. Imagine trying to make your heart beat?

This morning, during the two hours of awake time, we headed over to my sister's house to borrow her nebulizer and refilled Anika's steroid inhaler. I try to use it as little as possible, simply because I'm not a fan of steroids, or drugs in my children in general, even inhaled ones. That said, I'll do anything to keep my kids breathing, so Mr. Inhaled Corticosteroid is a welcome house guest - for now.

We are getting pretty used to this routine now, of angled crib mattresses, spoonfuls of honey, and sleepless, upright nights. Like anything contingent upon your expectations, once you accept it, it gets easier, right? That, or my tried and true problem-solver combination of a meditative 30 minutes run in the woods, followed by a green salad. Or at least, I'd imagine that would help. I imagine it, and then I have some chocolate and a second glass of wine...

Yesterday was a great day, the brief normal of the in between.

Anika is a great helper - she can wash, cut off the tops, and eat strawberries in a blink now!

And Kaden is learning so much so fast. Look at his innovative use of the Magna Doodle! A pull toy, and  a drawing board. Now, that's called multitasking!

***

I've been meaning on here to share some of the other music that I like. I know not everyone likes to listen to music while reading a blog, but I do try and playlist music that goes well with my post, and that is not too intrusive of the reading process. However, the songs I choose, although I do enjoy them, are not representative of all of the music I do like. As in, I don't think LMFAO is the appropriate soundtrack to a post about sick kids. With this in mind, I thought I'd share a few of the songs I am wiggle dancing to lately. Anyone who really knows me, knows my music tastes run the gamut, and the following is no exception. I've included the genres as per Wikipedia, and my own opinions, so you can skip or enjoy at your choosing.

1. Somebody That I Used To Know - Goyte featuring Kimbra (Indie Rock)

Mellow folkie pop with a Latin American tinge. He sounds so much like Sting. And it's so bare, who can't relate to this song, on some level? I love it.

2. Born to Die - Lana Del Rey (Indie Pop)

So brooding, risque, and little crazy. I really, really love the actual music part of this song, so the lyrics are bonus. Obviously its a dark song and she's singing about a place most people don't care to travel to, but I'll take it metaphorically rather than literally. I love this song nonetheless. Actually, allthemore.

3. Turn Me On - David Guetta, featuring Nick Minaj (Dance Pop)

My new workout song. It's awesome. When Ms. Minaj starts belting out "Make me come alive...", I just want to move. Seriously, I actually cranked the treadmill up to 6.0 yesterday, for 60 seconds. Yeah, it's that good.

4. Home - Dierks Bentley (Country)

Gamut. I told you. This is my husband's influence. I never never never liked country music before I married him. But I have a soft spot for Dierks... I can't help it.

5. I Follow Rivers - Lykke Li (Again, with the All Encompassing "Indie Pop" Category)

Ever since the free iTunes download of I'm Good, I'm Gone, I've been hooked. She's so genuinely into her craft. Plus this song has that Policy of Truth Depeche Mode instrument sound, which just boosts the awesome factor. The whole "Wounded Rhymes" album is a good listen.

So there you go. Anika just came downstairs, wheezing, with a request of "I fink I need a nebuhwizer (nebulizer)."

Here's to fast recoveries.

Another sunset photo. We just get too many beautiful ones not to share.

Quick, Stop!

I think it's time to sit down now. Yup, I think I will. Pull up a seat with me, won't you? Put your feet up. Stop moving. Stop doing. Stop planning. Stop making. Just for a little while, at least.

Ah life - it's been so full lately. Overfull, somedays, but I suppose I'd take that rather than boredom any day. Last night, Ryan was on call, and rather than clean, rather than read, rather than write, or sew, or do anything universally productive, I grabbed some leftover hummus and veggies, and a frozen ball of chocolate chip cookie dough. I pulled the blinds closed, finally found the remote (thanks Kaden) and I sat down on the couch, put my feet feet up, and mused at how foreign this feeling was - mindful relaxation, the softness of the cushions beneath me dulling the pull of gravity. Typically, evenings are reserved for more precious activities, such as International House Hunters, laundry and sleeping. But last night was mine all mine. 

But not exactly, because I really wanted to watch "The Devil's Backbone" and couldn't for the life of me figure out how to turn on the subtitles. I watched a little bit just in Spanish, trying to comprehend exactly what was going on, but that wasn't enjoyable. Too much thinking, not enough lazy payoff. I ended up renting The Cove, which was eye-opening and really, really sad. I definitely recommend it, regardless. I'm not going to be become a dolphin activist any time soon, but do think that knowledge is power.

Mornings always bear reality back with a snap, but less so on a Saturday. Rather than hustle the kids to get dressed, eat breakfast, comb, brush, buckle and go, Kaden and I lingered in our pajamas, and Anika wore her best "I Don't Have to Go to School" outfit - shorts and a Columbia zippered fleece, just like Daddy, who insanely wears shorts year-round. Not that I'm complaining, because he's got fantastic, if a little hairy, legs. But I digress... back to the pajamas. We ate breakfast in slow motion, listened to music, chatted and sang. I drank two cups of coffee in a regular, non-travel mug. The sun came out. I liked it.

Moving on to... kids say the darndest things!

Anika:
Her favorite color is unabashedly red. Not pink.

When stringing beads, she licks the bead, rather than the thread.

She still says "whobody" for the word "who". "Whobody is at the door?"

She's adding the suffix "-ies" to everything. "Mommy, can you tie my shoe strapies?" "Why do you use the sharpie knife?" "Kaden wears two pajamies!"

She's "reading" books on her own more and more frequently.

She enjoys playing the "what does my toast look like now?" game. See photo below. This one is a boot. The bite before looked like an alligator.

She loves to play outside, and would all day if I'd let her. In the rain, wind, snow, tornado... she doesn't care.

Thomas the Train - oh, the obsession. She's slowly moved away from princesses, and is currently all about the trains, specifically the Thomas characters.

She takes care of Kaden. She protects him, comforts him, shares with him, teaches him. She also yells at him, grabs stuff out of his hands, and goes into her room for "pwivacy" from Kaden. But when Kaden needs Anika's help or love, big sister always comes through for little brother.

Her favorite song is "Love Song Baby," which is Selena Gomez's "Love You Like A Love Song." She'll sing along with it whenever it comes on the radio. I had to buy it because it is the song she "likes best".

Becoming independent is Anika's paramount mission in life. I'm constantly guiding her down the path, but dang - she wants to do ev-er-y-thing her way, by herself, leading the tour. I get frustrated with her a lot, but am proud just the same. She is bold, assertive, and wants so badly to be self-sufficient - positive traits, as long as they are coupled with care for others and a dash of caution.

She is loud. LOUD. LOUD! I think I'm a very sensitive person to sound to begin with, so this one characteristic aggravates me. I'm not sure why she thinks every word must be yelled, or screamed at the top of her lungs, but it's just part of who she is. She was born screaming her lungs out, and hasn't really stopped since. And when she cries, the world is for certain ending - as in truly the end of the world. No, really. Its as if thousands of meteors are pelting the earth's surface and bursting into flames, destroying everything in their path. Innumerable death cries pierce the atmosphere in one consummate wail as Armageddon harvests the final reaping and life as we know it is swallowed into a bottomless pit of sonic darkness...

... seriously. I have to take a deep breath, remind myself that I am an example, not a participant and just calmly go about my mommy work. Happy or sad, mad or calm, she is just loud. PERIOD.

And the power struggles. Everything is a power struggle. If someone else wants her to do something, then she simply doesn't want to do it, on principle.

Me: Anika, can you brush your teeth?
Anika: No.
Me: Anika, it's time to go to school, please get in your car seat.
Anika: No.
Me: Anika, pick up your toys please.
Anika. No.

Lucky for her, she's so darn cute. For ever night I go to bed exhausted and maybe a little frustrated, there is a morning I wake up refreshed. Once I feel those arms wrap around me, and hear that quiet voice whisper "Good morning mommy," I fill up with this innate, huge love that overcomes everything. 

Kaden:

As for my little man, Kaden. Well, what can I say. He is the bomb diggity. I am so lucky to be his mama.
He is always good for a toothy grin, a giggle, a shy, sideways smile... I (or daddy, or grandma, or the checkout lady...) just have to look at him and he'll just smile and smile. He is going through a bit of the stranger danger phase, where he will hide his head in my chest, or come running to me in a room with people he doesn't know. But the whole time, the mister will certainly be smiling - at least, most of the time.

Excuse the flax seeds that appear alarmingly like bugs...

He is repeating everything we are saying now, mostly the last word of what we are saying, and he'll phrase it like a question, almost every time.

Me: Kaden, it's time for breakfast!
Kaden: Braba?
Me: Let's go put on our shoes!
Kaden: Voooooo?
And today, he said cricket on a night walk. He was trying so hard, and it was succinct and adorable.

Besides repeating language, he is imitating Anika nonstop, all day. She plays with the trains, he plays with trains. She goes outside, then he wants to go outside too. Anika wants a drink, well, by golly, if Kaden isn't the thirstiest toddler this side of the Mississippi. He follows Anika everywhere, so much so, that Anika has started to more increasingly want her "pwivacy," saying (screaming) "I don't want Kaden to fowwow me" or  "Kaden don't bug me!". Her outbursts aren't too often, but I suppose if someone were shadowing me day and night, I'd want a break too. It's now come to the point where Kaden doesn't even want to go to bed at the end of the day if he knows Anika is still awake. If we take him upstairs, and Anika is still downstairs, he will waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaail in the crib. Wail. We've changed our nighttime routine now, so their bedtimes coordinate more closely.

Kaden is an electronic addict, too. Every time I turn around, he's climbing up on to the chair in the study moving around the mouse, tapping the keyboard. (Did I mention I found our cordless mouse, finally, in the kitchen cupboard in a stock pot? Cords aren't such a bad idea after all 'rents...). We have this toy laptop that he can't get enough of. Most days, it keeps him occupied for a long, long time... like three minutes!

He is quite stable walking now, and has begun to run most places now, rather than walk. He also takes the stairs carefully, either backwards, or lately he's started to sit and scoot down each stair on his bottom -  *bump* *bump* *bump* - while I hold one of his hands. He thinks thats the most fun thing ever.

One thing he is doing, that Anika really didn't do, is favorited a blanket. Aunt Trina knitted him a blue blanket way back in the day. I don't have a good photo of this, but the image below is a fairly good representation...

I mean, seriously. I'll need to take a photo of him tomorrow morning so you can see the Linus resemblance. Kaden must sleep with his blanket and take it out of the crib with him in the morning. Sometimes he'll drag it around with him, but mostly its just to sleep with. If you put it next to him, he'll snuggle right into it. Linus. I'm tellin' you...

He is growing so handsomely. I think I'll keep him.

On a totally unrelated note, I found some cool cups at Oregon Coffee and Tea, an awesome shop with all types of tea, coffee beans you can roast yourself, and all the accessories in between. Since I got rid of all our plastic cups (including sippy cups for Anika, finally), I'd been looking for a good alternative for her. We have glass glasses, but they are still heavy and can break. When I saw these cups, I snatched them up. They are made by Klean Kanteen, the same brand as her school water bottle. They are stainless steel and light enough that Anika can wield them easily. I really like them and wanted to share with other like-minded parents who are warding off the plastic spirits as I am.

Feeling so good lately... And rockin' it!