Life Unshelved: The Mother of All Posts

Or otherwise titled: So Ready.

Because I am so SO ready for this baby to be OUT OUT OUT. Not that he should be, because he is only 35+ weeks. And no matter how hard it is readjusting the body pillow a million times in the bed, or getting up five times to pee the tiniest pee ever, or heaving Anika over my belly into her car seat, or waddling around everywhere with pressure in my "downtheres" - all this would be much harder with a premature baby to feed, rock, and love on. And a C-section to recover from. But when you are working so hard for something, emotionally and physically, you tend to be blinded by the blur of moving toward the end result. I just want to hold him so badly and to see that he is healthy and well and perfect, of course! Even if he isn't.

Nobody takes my photo pregnant, so it's all me! 9 months pregnant - BAM!

He is breech, and will likely stay that way until the end. Because of the didelphys, I have this fear that he is cramped all up in there. Although forever ago, I was told both uteri were full -sized, I just don't know what shape it is, what it is next to, etc... He definitely doesn't move around as much as Anika did inside. I remember when Ewa and I went to see Rent on Broadway in March 2008. Anika was 6 months old and MAN that little girl was doing somersault after somersault in there! In contrast, we went back to Broadway last March and saw Rock of Ages. Totally different experience. I hope this means he is a mellow fellow. Aaaaaaah I can dream. :)

This pregnancy has been better, yet so much worse. With Anika, everybody was all up in it, checking my BP, urine, cervix all the time! And because of those findings, I was on bed rest for a good chunk at the end. Also, my labor was intensely monitored and controlled with various drugs for my blood pressure, which was pretty high at the end... And really, that was good, because nobody wants to go into a coma... :) But this pregnancy things are totally different. My BP has been borderline, but not high. Urine normal, etc... I've been free to take care of myself and my family. Which, good, because I don't know what else I could've done, really. But wow... my body is so uncomfortable, all the time. ALL the time. I've had quite a few blood sugar lows this pregnancy, which means I'm either not eating enough or not eating enough protein. I hate that feeling... nausea, sweating, and loose brains I like to call it. Plus I'm a hormonal wreck most days, desiring to do so much with my days, but physically unable to undertake all I need or want to do. Taking care of a two-year-old is physically draining me out. And poor Ryan listens to me complain so much. Hmmmm.... is it any wonder he says this is the last kid for us? And as much as I envision this big family for us, I tend to agree that we are done. I want my body and life back, at least as much as is feasible. I don't think I'm cut out for being a stay-at-home mom. I want to go back to work. There is a Copy Editor position open for the local paper right now, and I just can't apply for it right now. I just can't... But I will! And also get my tummy tuck and boob lift. That's right, I said it. It's going to happen. :) But that means no more kids. I'm okay with that. :) More than okay.

Wonderful husband Ryan has taken Anika to the pool down the block today so I can relax. And recover from a stupid cold that I got this week. Free time is so far between the busy moments lately. By the end of the day I usually flop down on the couch, prop up my swollen ankles and watch The Tudors, Grey's Anatomy, HIMYM or some other favorite show du jour until Ryan suggests bedtime. It's so frustrating to only have a few hours or so to myself a day. I freely admit I am a hoarder of my quiet. I know there will only be so much of this beautiful free time left for a while. Oh, so scared and so excited...

In other big blog-sharable news, we broke ground on our new house a few weeks ago. We broke ground. Literally a hole in the earth was made for us - a little driveway curving through the trees, a deep muddy footprint for our home-to-be. We began planning this over a year ago, so any hot excitement had dispersed away through time - but nothing prepared me for the impact of driving up the road into the bustle of all the big, noisy machines, pushing, mounding, moving the ground in heavy scoops. All the possibility of what Ryan and I have planned and researched and quibbled over was being made actual and true. What a feeling...

Virgin soil! No driveway...

Driveway!

No hole...

Big hole!

Big hole filled with muddy water.

Peter Finn's crew starts the forms for the footing

Pouring the footing

Rebar, foundation walls going in

We still have so much to get through. And I'm fairly sure that come December (which is when the house is scheduled to be completed), I doubt I would recommend to anyone that they have a baby and build a house. That said, would it be any easier one year from now? Two years? No way! And you know what? I am just thankful that we get to build a house, under any circumstances. I fully understand the blessing that it is. I'm pretty sure, though, that the process isn't going to be butterflies and rainbows and ponies though. But in the end, we will have not only a home that is uniquely our own, but will have made a family to live in it. I think we are making the right decision.

Anika playing in the dirt.

I swear she is going to be a director/producer of something someday

I swear this dirt throwing and piling keeps her busy for hours at a time.

(Okay, maybe not hours, but a long time in toddler world! Like 20 minutes!)

And some more cutie pie photos. Way more exciting than house photos... :) I do want to share some photos from Anika's second birthday party, but in another post. Until then, here's some nuggets from our days lately...

Spaghetti night is always good for photo ops