Monsters

Monsters on the brain...

Anika is now scared of the dark; or at least, that's what she says. She'll look down a dark hallway or a shadowed corner at night, and say "Mama, me scared" - and will then ball her fists up, bite down her jaw, and do a little full body tremor, a caricature of fear. I have no idea where she picked up this move, maybe from a cartoon or movie, but it's really cute. "Mama, me scared." "What are you scared of, Anika?" And always it is a pointed finger towards the shadows: "dark." We've put two nightlights in her room, as well as a strand of dim Christmas lights and they seem to have abated her fear for now.

Anika's also terrified of the dog in the yellow raincoat at Grandma and Grandpa's house - the one that wails a scratchy rendition of "Singin' in the Rain" while wiggling back and forth. She'll see it on the bookshelf, grab it, and chuck it over the stair railing so she can't see it. But in terms of her fear of the dark, the most concrete explanation I can get as to what exactly scares her is simply that - because its the "dark." She's never named anything in particular, like the Boogie Man - and I guess I don't need any other clarification. What is more frightening than what you cannot see? 

Admittedly, I am often scared of the dark as well. A few night ago, I was sitting in the living room, reading a magazine (Parenting Early Years, me thinks). It was probably 10 or 11. Ryan was on call, so it's just me and my babies, who were sleeping soundly upstairs. Suddenly, I hear a sound outside on the deck. Of course, my imagination ignites and I begin concocting visions of masked intruders and strangers in the house. In the same second, my mind attempts a rational explanation. "It must be the house settling." "Perhaps it's an animal of some kind." I return to reading my magazine and then, a few minutes later, I hear a similar sound, farther down the deck. My hackles silently and invisibly raise, but I keep "reading".

At this point, I decide I probably should just turn the light on and see. I grab my phone, and walk over to the light switch. For a brief breath, I hesitate to turn them on. Because what's worse: thinking someone or something might be outside looking in at you, or turning on the lights and actually seeing someone looking in at you, a la that Scream movie. I opt for the turning on the lights route. Click. Yup, nobody's out there. But at this point, my ridiculous adrenaline-engorged senses are so heightened, I'm hearing every. little. sound. - and of course thinking someone is breaking in or attempting to do so. At this point, I do what any rational person would do: I grab my phone and pretend to call 911. Loud exclamation: "Hello, SOMEONE is breaking into my HOUSE, here's my ADDRESS, yes, you'll be here in 3 MINUTES? Yes, I'll stay on the line UNTIL YOU GET HERE."

Kuh-razy lady. I won't deny it. I didn't even tell my husband, because who does that kind of stuff?! Yup, just crazy people. And me.

Anyway...

I spent the next 5 minutes or so, turning on all the lights around the house and brazenly looking out all the windows. I think I even opened the front door at one point and scoured the forested quiet outside, all the while trying to recall where Ryan keeps the axe he uses to chop the firewood. At some point, I came back down to earth and realized that it really was the house settling, who would have thought of that?! I do tend to let my imagination get the best of me, I literally cannot help it. Once my brain lights the "worst case scenario" match, the gunpowder is off and running. In this way, I am my own monster, debilitating myself by thinking too much.

Another beast we've attempted to master lately is *drumroll*: Potty Training! We'd been trying to get Anika to sit on the potty and go for weeks now. I read somewhere that if you push a child too soon to train you could delay your progress. So I definitely didn't want to do that. However, I was getting pretty tired of changing diapers all day long, a la toddler/baby rotation. So a week ago, in the morning, I decided that was the day and hoped Anika was willing to try my plan. I actually pulled the potty chair into the living room, where we spend most of our time. I know, I know, maybe not the most kosher thing, the potty in our living area, but really, I don't care. I was going to try it at least! Nonchalantly (ha ha), I asked Anika if she'd like to sit on the potty chair. Her answer? An immediate shriek: "No!!!!" My normal response would have been to back down and not push it. But nope, not that day. "Yes, Anika, we are going to use the potty." "No." "Yes." "No!" "Yes." No!" "YES." "NOOOOO!!!!!!" "YES!" And whadaya know, she walked over to the potty and sat down, and in about 10 minutes she peed! Besides, nap times and bed times, that's the last diaper we've used. She must have just been ready to do it, because she knew exactly what to do, the little stinker. And I'm sure my bribes of chocolate milk helped as well. We're getting a sticker chart to replace the chocolate milk. We'll see how that goes. Whatever the means (bribes - gasp!), we are daytime potty trained, as far as I can see. Now she's just proud when she does it. and I am over the MOON proud of her too. That monster's been tamed. Next up, nap times and bed times...

Besides potty training, our days lately have been filled with unpacking, day to day activities, and turning our new house into a new home. Earlier this week, I rocked out a freezer meal day. I wish I'd taken photos along the way, but my grand total for the day was 2 lasagnas, 2 chicken and rice casseroles, one humongous stock pot of chili (made with garbanzo, black, and kidney beans from scratch), and 10 big breakfast burritos. We are set for at least a few weeks of dinners, and I have plenty to share with my brother-in-law and good friend Beth, who just had their second baby this week.

I also went to an open house for the Philomath Montessori School and got to observe the students this week. What a wonder it was to see all these little people, working quietly and harmoniously together, cleaning up after themselves, being responsibly independent. A utopia I could have never imagined! I hope I glimpsed my future... Anika is enrolled for this Fall, and may start earlier if an appropriate opening comes up. It's four days a week, from 9 am to noon, with an art-centric class on Fridays. I cannot wait. It is going to be so wonderful for Anika to interact  with other children, younger and a bit older than her as well. She will learn so much in an environment I just can't provide for her here at home. And have so much fun while doing so! And Kaden and I will get some alone time. September, hurry up!

And just 'cause...

No monsters on the brain after I see that smiling face...