Dear Kaden,
(Excuse the belatedness).
You are two now. And still the sweetest boy I know. Even as we begin the "terrible twos," I thank the fates many times a day for you. Right now, nothing troubling you can't be fixed by a mama hug. And anything and everyone makes you smile your tiny-toothed, squinty-eyed grin. Most days, you are just happy to be. You are the antidote.
At Avery Park |
We are knee deep in the "mama" phase right now. You haven't yet forgiven me for going to New England and leaving you all alone with Dada. And I took Anika with me. Now you watch me with wide, leery eyes and hug my legs in small moments of apprehension - as if to say, "Just try and leave me again." I am your first responder - for snuggles, tuck-ins, dirty diapers... The second responder is Anika. Poor Dada gets picked last every time. Except for the five minutes after he gets home from work. Then he's your favorite person in the world. But other than that, it's me. I am your keeper of choice.
Honestly, I love this. It won't last forever, so I'll just soak up all the love you pour my way for as long as I can. Right now, I can scatter all your troubles with a swoop and a kiss. This is my magic. I know a day will come when you won't run to me for your kisses. But the fact that I can soothe you today, makes me feel like a superhero - albeit a tired, dis-sheveled, relaxed-fit one.
Your best friend in the whole wide big small world is Anika. You shadow her around all day long, for better or worse. Anything she says, you want to say. Anything she has, you want to have. Anything she does, you want to do. When this isn't the case, your eyes well up, your scar flushes a bright pink, and you wail loud and long in heartbreak. Luckily, Anika enjoys your company, for the most part. She has her limits, and sometimes wants alone time, but usually she likes having you around. Anika likes being the leader, and you oblige in following.
One of many dress-up sessions. If Anika had her way, you'd both be princesses this Halloween. |
I think you compliment each other.
This isn't to say that you and Anika don't have your fights, because you do. Every day. Every hour. Sharing makes up a huge piece of this puzzle. You don't want to do it. And why should you? You are two and are your own master. As Mama, I am here to serve, nudged along by your whims, accepting mercy and judgement as they settle. Chocolate milk and cookies are ever at the ready to abate and indulge you.
Except, not really. I make you share. Most days you are pretty bummed about this. But luckily, I just scoop you up and this calms you.
Sometimes, it is frustrating (and tedious) refereeing the arguments between you and your sister. You both fight about the same issues over and over again. Here's a good example of what happens at least three times a day:
Me, in the kitchen, back turned.
Anika and Kaden, in the living room, wildly rumpusing.
A loud thump resonates.
Anika screams.
Kaden cries.
Me: "What happened?"
Anika: "Kaden wants my wooden spoon! And he bit me!"
Me: "Kaden don't bite. Anika, can you share with him?"
Anika: "But I got it out!"
Kaden continues to howl.
Me: "How about we go get another spoon?" (or pony or truck or shiny thing)
Howling ceases.
Developmentally, you don't understand the concept of sharing - and Anika is still learning that you don't understand. She often bears the brunt of guilt, or just surrenders. I am too quick to blame Anika, as she is older, but am fast learning that you are just as guilty, and often times more so. But for every moment of turmoil between you and your sister, there are two more moments of shared secrets, conspiratorial giggles and cooperative play. There's no black and white, but that's fine because I'm just winging this parent thing anyway.
You will do it on cue. We find it very amusing.
Your favorite toys include anything and everything with wheels or that makes noise. Preferable exclamations include "Caterpillar Power" and "Autobots, move out!"
We are also smack dab in your book loving phase. Six months ago, you wouldn't sit still for even two pages before you wiggled out and down and away. Now, I have to cut you off. Once I turn that last page, before I can even say "the end", you are pointing to another book on the shelf, saying "moh!". Your favorites, on this exact day, are: Go Dog Go, Just Go To Bed, Goodnight Moon and Runaway Bunny (Anika hated both of these), Very Hungry Caterpillar, Puppy Too Small, and Gossie.
It is tricky reading to both you and Anika at the same time. You both really enjoy Richard Scarry's, Best Word Book Ever, What Do People Do All Day?, and Best Storybook Ever, as well as Goodnight Opus. My inner bookworm and I are, of course, doing celebratory cartwheels (metaphorically speaking of course - c'mon, I can't do cartwheels anymore). We all read a lot and we all enjoy it.
Physically, you are ~50 for weight and height, but your head is still huge. Even if you are a little top heavy, you are growing out of the clumsy stage and into a sure-footed one. You are running everywhere and can go up and down the stairs holding my hand. Maybe it's because you are more careful than Anika was - or maybe it's because you are my second child - but my reservations are waning. Climbing up onto stuff is one of your favorite activities. You also "jump" by squatting down and thrusting your body into the air. Your feet don't actually leave the ground, but you think this is pretty cool nonetheless. You are growing up, up, up my wee bairn!
These past few months, especially, you have grown in leaps. You are no longer my baby, but are a little boy now. As all changes are, this is bitter, but mostly sweet. Just this week, you've started to call me "Mohmee" instead of "Mama." So much is in store for you. I'll hold your hand a little longer, while you let me.
I love you, my little man.
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