Three Hours to Take-Off

My little boy officially started preschool this week. He now attends with Anika each morning. I am so thrilled for him, for Anika, and... for me! As much as I try not to, I do lapse in capturing the Kaden's "firsts". I remembered at the last moment to snap a few photos on the porch, but with my phone, rather than the Rebel. Nevertheless, it was a big, momentous day for all of us.

"Okay, Kaden, look at me and smile!"

"Kaden, look up! Look at mommy!"

"Okay, now smile!" 

"Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese"

He didn't want to go. I knew he wouldn't. He repeated, "I want stay with Mommy. I want stay with Mommy. I no want go school!" the entire drive. At the door, he starfished me; I had to forcibly pry him off and hand him to the teacher. It was hard not to stay, hearing him cry "I want my Mommy!" over and over. I just put my head down in quasi-shame and bolted out of there. I knew he would be fine, and he was. The school called about an hour later, reporting that Kaden only cried for a few minutes. And when I came to pick him up, rather than rejoice in our reunion, he said "Me no want go home!" Exactly. Kaden, you are going to love school! You just don't know it yet.

He is such a joyous, sweet, curious little guy, but he relies on Anika in many ways. She is his best friend, constant playmate, and valiant protector.We are so lucky they can attend together, and that she can hold his hand a bit at the beginning. I am interested to see how things play out with them. But I do hope this will further Kaden's independence. (But Anika did tell me if the big boys, or "the gang," pushed Kaden, she will tell them to stop.)

So this brings me to... well, me. As hard as drop-off was, I walked away. I turned the corner down the dark hallway to the exit and opened the door to the outside. The light poured in, the cool air hit me, and I smelled something delicious... freedom! Kaden attending preschool allows me a full three hours of free time every day. I am beyond thrilled. The mere idea of two kids in preschool has propelled me forward for many months, years - I am not exaggerating. This has been a long time coming. I then jumped out the door and down the steps.

So, what should I do? On one hand, I don't want to make parameters for this time. On the other hand, I'd like to utilize it as best I can. One thing I know I DON'T want to do is clean. I can clean when my kids are home. I can't write, I can't read, I can't surround myself in silence. So that's what I will do: I will write. I will read. I will surround myself in silence. Or at least in unnoise. 

I am unabashedly looking forward.